• o n e •

If you have read my blog in the past, you may know that we gather together with our friends, celebrate the new year and all pray together and discuss where we hear God leading us for the year.  It is a night that always leaves my heart and soul feeling so refreshed.


• Christmas •

I have to say, as I think I mentioned in a previous post, this holiday season didn't really go as planned.

We had sick kids.  A sick mommy. and that spanned the three weeks following up to Christmas.  I was so bummed to not be able to make cookies and treats for our wonderful new neighbors (because we didn't want to share the nasty sick germs), we had to cancel my birthday plans because on my actual birthday the girls and I were all sick.  And really, the list goes on!


• feel the love •

So, do you ever look at your blog stats?  I rarely do. 
But I happened upon mine today... which led me to some of my old blogs.

Someone had happened upon a few of my blog posts from 2012 and were in the stats where it shows you what posts have been read recently.  And oh my goodness.  I REALLY enjoyed reading them all!! Especially my posts where I use to link up with "happy wives club" on the things we loved/love most about our husbands. 

As I was reading them, I thought. wow.  This was SO cool!  What a great place this put my mind! 

I was reading a chapter in a book the other day, about a secret to a marriage where you are still in love after 50 years + of marriage.  This author (Becky Thompson) had asked her dad.  And her dad had told her that he wakes up every day like it is the very first day he has every loved his wife.  No record of wrongs.  No skeletons in the closet.  He starts fresh everyday. 

Now at first, I was like - wait.  I love Rob MORE because of our journey, because of all we've been through and overcome TOGETHER.  Our love is stronger now than it was 6 years ago.  So why would I want to wake up as it was the first day of marriage every day?  But then it clicked.  The new love.  The new ooey, gooey, puppy love.  The new kind.  And I got it.  That and full forgiveness.  There is no way to hold any bitterness or lack of forgiveness in your heart if you are determined to love like it is your first day of marriage.  It's like the best of both worlds... loving like it's your first day of marriage with the history and strength of years of love behind you!

She went on to talk about being excited for your spouse to come home everyday... to see them, not for them to help with the kids. (ouch! am I right?!).  Now granted I am always SO excited for Rob to be home from work, but lets be honest, some days its because the girls are driving me a bit cray-cray.  and I want help with dinner time and bath time and bed time.  

Anyway, so you put these two things together and I really want to start a NEW list of "why I love my husband."  I contemplated doing a "why I love my family"  Or "why I love my husband" and then a "why I love my girls."  That just goes to show how all encompassing being a mom is. You are ALWAYS thinking of your kids.  Am I right?  But Then I remembered.  No.  Marriage first, Carrie.  This is something to do for your MARRIAGE.  which will ultimately benefit our family as a whole.  we know this. 

Do you want to join in?  Make your own list!  Let me know... I'd love to read it and support your blog! ♥

So here we go... The beginning.   Let's start with 5 reasons today....

I love my husband because...

1.  He loves and lives to serve Christ. 

2.  He takes time for things he knows are important to me and important to my heart.  In example, searching high and low THE WEEK OF CHRISTMAS, for Christmas PJ's for Hayden's Christmas Eve Surprise, because he knew it was important to me.  

3.  He asks me what I need.  He literally will ask me what I need in our marriage and what he can do better.  Let's be honest.  Sometimes I'm too scared to ask him the same question. ha.  

4.  He leads our family.  Pure and simple.  He leads us daily.  

5.  He is my best friend.  He is who I want to talk to if I'm sad or happy.  He's my go to.  He's my person. 


• lately, December 2016 •

Can you believe it?!  It is almost Christmas!

Excitement has been filling our home, as the question is asked daily, "what day is it today?"... "how many more night-night's till Christmas?"

I have to admit... Having kids makes Christmas even more enjoyable.  And let's face it.  I was obsessed to start out with!


• the foolish woman // the wise woman •

Lately, I have been praying a lot, asking for God's wisdom as we raise our girls!  What a tremendous responsibility it is to raise daughters of the King!  As I was praying with a mommy friend the other day, she prayed that God would show them wisdom in bringing up strong men.  My heart leaped!!! That is JUST what a "girl mom" wants to hear... that there are parents out there raising up STRONG men of God!!

But then, it got me to thinking.  Am I doing my part?  Am I seeking His wisdom in raising daughters of the king?

Sure we pray with our girls, we try to teach them morally and ethically correct behavior, we teach them to mind and obey, to treat others with respect, etc.... but is that really raising a daughter of the king?

God led me to Proverbs.  Do you ever have God lead you to scripture?  Sometimes I don't pay attention and when that happens, it's as if I see that book, or topic of the intended scripture everywhere, bringing it to mind.  God is pretty cool like that.  He will whisper quietly, then if we don't listen, he will continue to get a bit louder until there is no denying His voice!

As I read Proverbs 14, I feel I have been so foolish more than I have been wise.  I want to teach my girls wisdom.  I would like to teach them how to build their home up, not tear it down.  I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels like you can relate to the later part of that instruction.  Do you ever feel like everything is just falling apart?  I've so been there.

But what does it really mean to be foolish, tearing down your own home or wise, building it up with your own hands?

The scripture actually paints a pretty clear picture in the following verses. 

This is similar to something I would typically create in my journal!  I encourage you,
especially when God leads you to a certain spot in His word, to really break the
passages down and dissect them.  Get everything out you can!
So as I see my almost 3 year old, so full of pride, lashing out in tantrums.  Or reacting quickly in anger, or attempting to deceive me.  It is my calling as her mom to help her to realize that these are not qualities a Daughter of the King, a WISE girl, should posses. 

So how do we teach our daughters (and ourselves) to replace bitterness with joy.  quick tempered with patience.  deceit with truth.  envy with a peaceful heart.  mocking with honor.  How do I teach my girls to have lips that protect and a heart that fears the Lord? 

Honestly.  I think it varies from day to day and circumstance to circumstance.  But we will be tested.  The enemy would love nothing more than to see our girls, and us mamas for that matter, on that left column vs the right. 

A scripture I've been trying to teach Harper lately:

James 1:19-20, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."

My prayer is that God will show me, directing my steps, in how to raise our girls with wisdom.  To show me ways to relay His knowledge and understanding... His heart.

It is a huge privilege and an even bigger responsibility. 


When The Donut Sprinkles Hit The Floor: An anxious mama's heart

I'm not quite sure when I allowed anxiety to start playing a role in my life.

I can vaguely trace it back to a time of loss in my life.  I was almost 18 and my mortality had become quite real.  A loss so big happened that rocked me to my core.  That innocent, carefree teenager spirit vanished.

I dealt with it the best way my 18 year old self knew how.

Flash forward just a few years.  I was living in CA and had anxiety so badly it was displaying itself physically.  This time I asked God for help.  Saw a therapist.  And it was dealt with.

Flash forward even farther.... Our first and third pregnancies end in loss.  But I, by the grace of God, am a mommy to 2 absolute little precious miracles.

But.  I find myself constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop (or because I have a love affair with donuts...), I am constantly waiting for the donut sprinkles to hit the floor.  It's like I have this irrational thought that if I prepare myself for said sprinkles (by of course anxiously over thinking every different scenario - which never happen) I can be in control.  Right there with my proverbial vacuum, waiting to clean them all up.  Making life all nice and neat again.

Basically, you take rational worries moms have and magnify them til they are no longer rational.

But logically I know this.  God did not call us to a neat, nice and clean life.  He did not promise us this.  He did however promise us that we would never walk alone through the messiness of life.

For at least 2 years now, I have made decisions based on fear.  The fear of the what if scenarios.  I continue to fear losing my precious girls.  or them being hurt.  Or something else happening to the precious family I have been blessed with.

Then recently, I clearly heard my loving Savior's voice tell me - that by not completely trusting my girls to Him, I was going to lose them.  (Literally... maybe not, but I do know if there is fear/anxiety/burdens in my heart, there is less room for love and the joy that they bring me!)


Wasn't I trusting Him?  Even with my family?

Then this scripture came upon my spirit: "I have not given you the spirit of fear" and my spirit continued to hear these words... "Where there is fear, there is no room for trust, only doubt."

Again.  Ouch.

Friends, I'm still in the process stages of this. So bear with me.  God sure is!  (he bears with us in all things. Even learning processes. Am I right?! HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT!).

So where am I going from here?  Right now I have asked God to help me replace my anxieties, my doubts, and my fears with praise.  Simply just stopping to praise THE ONE who has blessed me.  Covered me with grace.  And bears with me through all things.  To praise the one in whom it is safe to place my faith.

  Joshua 1:9 " This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For  the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

a few more scriptures on trusting God through fear and anxiety.  I've tried to link them all so they will be easy to read.  There are so many great scriptures out there, these are just a few of my favorites on this subject: