{mom life}

Truth time.

I've been in a not so fun, overwhelmed funk lately.  I've just felt like I was failing on every front.... At my job as a wife and mom especially. It took me literally breaking into tears in a restaurant of all places, to talk to my husband about it! 
Last night he blessed me with some me time, and today I'm a whole new person!... well after some starbucks, donuts, and park time with my girls!

Today I know it's ok that this little girl to the left is a typical two year old... that she is emotional, throws fits and tantrums, and is just down right defiant.  I know that means that she's finding her way in this world, and shes figuring out what is ok and what isn't.

Today I know it's ok that my precious 3 month old only wants mommy - that she insists on sleeping next to me, and doesn't like when I leave her sight.  I know that means she's building her foundation of love and trust and that gets to begin with ME!

It's so hard to get past some of the perceived concepts of perfection in parenthood.  I had finally had my fill.  My heart was overwhelmed... and I couldn't take anymore.  So thankful I was able to hit the reset button, and readjust my gaze to the One who is my true center.  Without my Savior, I am mediocre at best! He is where I find my worth. 

I was reminded today as I woke up, again not sleeping hardly at all (baby girl is literally nursing 24/7 the last few days {we are fighting off colds in our house}), that it was my choice what my girls see.  They don't have to see the dread, they can see the happy.  So even though I was about ready to lose it again inside, we got dressed and headed out of the house... we went to the store for donuts, shopping cart car rides, a pony ride, and starbucks!  Then off to a new park, and then to the post office!  To Harper it was the greatest adventure - to me it was survival, and also just happened to be what my heart needed!

So here is to the days of motherhood that feel like the stars aligned and everything is right with the world, but also here is to the majority of the normal, mediocre days... the days you feel like you're in the mommy trenches, but still so abundantly blessed! 


{3 months ♥ 29 months}

Our sweet little Hayden!  She is just so much joy and sunshine, in such a little package!  Everyone that sees pictures of her and not in person assumes she's a little chunk... which she is, but she's a compact little chunky baby.  ha!  She's still so tiny, yet so chunky all at the same time!


& just like that...

we are almost out of what I have so lovingly deemed the "fourth trimester."  I swear its a real thing.  And I'm even more convinced of it after having a second baby.


{spiritual challenges}


Goodness. Have you ever had a season where you just feel like your under spiritual attack?! I dislike using the word attack. I feel like it gives the enemy more credit ... And my God is so much bigger. Attack means he has made contact and I have somehow taken my gaze off the father and off the cross to even notice the plite of my self. And well I know I'm human, but that frustrates me to no end! It makes me mad at myself when I turn my gaze internal instead of eternal.


{motherhood is joy}

This was my devotional a week or so ago and I just can't get it out of my head!  It stuck in my heart! This is the mom I want to be.  I want my girls to feel like their home is the best place on earth.
I just love this!!!