1.04.2016

{our best conversation of 2015}

As I am finished writing this and read back over it, I realize it is much more like a journal entry... something I want to remember.  Enjoy a peak into my memories ;)

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On NYE, we played a fun game with our friends - passing around a box with questions in it - we each had to answer and then choose someone else to answer.

I STINK at on the spot things.  Like awful.  My mind freezes up.  If you give me even 5 minutes to compile my thoughts I'm usually good. But on the spot... oy!

So one question I got, that I loved:  "what was your best conversation of 2015?"

wow.  we had a lot of great ones last year!!! we had a lot of decisions to make and I'm so proud to say we did them together! a lot of planning, praying, arguing, crying, and deep conversations happen in our home, between Rob and I late at night, in our room.  It use to drive my husband crazy that I always wanted to have these kinds of talks at like 11pm, ha!  But I'm pretty sure he has gotten use to it now, after 5 1/2 years of marriage! 

My top two favorite conversations:  

  1. When we decided to for sure try for another baby... or basically not- NOT try.  
  2. When we began praying, discussing, and planning on steps to take so I could stay home. 

Both of these discussions were life changing.  They were both dream conversations.  They were both discussions filled with excitement, prayer, and tears!! 

The - ok, we are ready to have another baby discussion was actually had AFTER we found out we were pregnant and had a miscarriage.  Because - you see - that pregnancy was a surprise!! So when we lost that baby, it was time to reevaluate.  I think, if anything, the loss made us realize we were ready! And it is a bittersweet memory.  This, more than likely, will be our last pregnancy - so it was more than likely a last conversation of this type! We really feel our family will be complete after Hayden is born!  We discussed with some friends on new years even - if we are REALLY done.  They have four and aren't certain they are.  We sat there with about 90% certainty that we are indeed done.  We've discussed a few times, briefly, if we feel led to adopt or foster children since we feel we are finished having biological children.  And honestly.  We aren't. God hasn't put that in our hearts at this time. Would we be open to it on down the road?  Possibly.  But right now, our focus is our girls.  God has blessed us with two amazing little ladies - just like He blesses many families with adoptive or foster children, and we feel we need to heed that calling right now - to love on our girls and guide them with the wisdom God blesses us with.  I LOVE the idea of adoption.  It is so biblical it gives me goosebumps!  And quite frankly, I'm surprised I have gotten a red light on that from God, because I have often seen that in my future. But I can honestly say, I am at SO much peace knowing that God wants us to be a family of four.  And that, my friends, is just amazing!!   

Secondly, our conversation discussing and planning for me staying home.  This wasn't just a one time conversation.  This was a huge leap of faith, friends!  This took a lot of praying, processing a lot of doubt, and a supportive husband that said "we will make it work!"  You see, when your life purpose is to be a mom - a stay at home mom - nothing else fills that void.  Not even the best, amazing paying, job!  To say I took a pay cut would be an understatement. It is laughable! I worked for a very successful franchising company.  I helped train our franchisees to run their businesses.  It was a fun job.  But it is not what my heart wanted to be doing.  I even cut back on hours, my boss was amazingly understanding - they gave me a lengthy maternity leave - they wanted to keep me.  But.  again.  my calling in life is to raise these amazing little ladies and be the 'housewife' I always wanted to be! I wanted to be home with them. Teaching them. raising them! So we prayed.  a lot.  A lot of discussions.  A LOT of support from my husband.  He's pretty amazing!! I really owe this dream come true to him (& of course God).  I say it often - he makes my dreams come true every day!  I have a feeling the next big discussion down the road will be homeschool vs. charter school.  And, really... I'm not sure where I stand with it.  I'm SO thankful I still have a few years to pray about that one!

I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am to have a husband that supports our family - he works so hard.  Ladies.  if you are a stay at home mom, with your husbands support - you need to give him some extra love when he gets home.  It takes a special man.  A special man, that even if I've cleaned the house 5 times a day but when he comes home it's messy - he says thank you anyway, that even when he still does his own laundry most of the time because you're tired, pregnant, and chasing around a toddler and he never complains.  That is a good man ladies!

So, in short (or not so...) my two favorite conversations of 2015 happen to also be our two biggest decisions of 2015 ♥  and they make my heart soar! So many of my childhood dreams have come true and it's more amazing than I ever could imagine!  I'm so thankful for God's unfailing plan in my life!!!

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