I've seen a few cosleeping guilt posts lately, and even have a friend that is concerned she's making some bad habits with her second little bundle of joy - as he sleeps best right by her side, and she loves it too!! This was SO us with Harper. I loved it. Even in the hospital, the nurse came in and suggested ever so not subtly to put Harper back in her bassinet when we had both fallen asleep. I just always felt complete with her right in my arms. I wish I had a picture of us sleeping when she was tiny... I'd basically cocoon myself around her in full on cuddle. It was heaven!!!
I swore I'd never let my kids sleep with me. I was going to sleep train them! I had even said Harper would be in her own bed by the time she was a month old! Then Harper melted into my arms and I never wanted to put her down... literally.
Anyway... Since I've seen a lot of cosleeping guilt and questions lately, I thought I'd break out a post I did over 8 months ago - when we were in the transition out of cosleeping. I loved cosleeing, especially at the beginning... the transition to her bed - not so much, but the months leading up to that were precious! My mom group talks a lot about this. In fact, we've talked about everything from other moms belittling us, to moms who have done sleep training that feel guilty that they didn't want to do cosleeping.... all across the board. And when it comes right down to it, mamas - none of us have all the absolute answers! In example, a conversation I had with a sleep training mom the other day - she had been shamed by a cosleeping mom for letting her child cry it out and was feeling guilty - I then told her not to worry, that all us cosleeping moms are secretly jealous that sleep training kids will fall asleep on their own, in their own beds, without a fuss - to which she replied, secretly all sleep training moms are jealous that cosleeping kids will cuddle on end and all that precious time we get with our littles.
none of us have it all figured out.
dear cosleeping mama,
Everyone has their opinions don't they? I'm here to say, don't listen to the naysayers. If it is best for you and your baby and your family, then don't listen to anyone else. All the "sleep trainers" and the "cry it out" moms... don't judge them either. We all do what works best. Like you, for us, it was cosleeping.
- More Bonding Time
- Easier Night Time Nursing
- Better/Longer Sleep
- Endless night time snuggles
- and a baby that will (more than likely) fall asleep on you in public, making others wonder "how you do it"…
- studies also show, your baby will actually feel more secure, leading to more independence, it promotes healthy breathing, and improves baby's heart health as well! And think about it... he/she is use to being inside your womb. why WOULDN'T sleeping right next to you help with all these and more?!
As we are transitioning away from cosleeping, and our little snuggler sleeps in her own bed, all night… only coming in our bed for good morning snuggles, I miss those night time snuggles, falling asleep with her rubbing my face. Enjoy it. Your baby won't be a baby forever! & don't worry about what anyone else says. I wouldn't trade that extra bond I have with our H for anything!!
Enjoy these sweet cuddles while you can, mama!! Don't second guess yourself, what you feel in your heart is good for you, your baby, and your family! And if you do wake up one day second guessing yourself - look at the research and all the benefits you little one gets from cosleeping! The list is endless!
So many have asked... will we cosleep this time around? Definitely!! But my goal is to do an altered version!...My vision is not as much bed sharing. Have you seen the neat "side car" cribs on pinterest? My HOPE (yeah, we'll see... remember when I said above that I'd never cosleep, ha!) is that Hayden will like her crib this way! and the transition to her room will be easier. Harper HATED her crib.... like she never slept in it, hated it! So we will see! Rob and I are going to get our room all rearranged and set up within the next couple of weeks! SO exciting!