11.23.2015

{life before being a mama}

Rob and I often joke that our kids probably won't get away with anything. I can smell alcohol, weed, tabacco smoke a mile away. Basically anything they shouldn't be doing my mommy senses are already in tune. Or it could be I've been there done that... Or at least been around it enough to know about it.
There are a lot of things in my past I'm proud of. ... Some details not so much. But I have lived a life that over all I am SO proud of!
As I read an article shared by scary mom on Facebook ... I won't share because it has some crazy choice language for effect and, well that's not me anymore.
Anyway, I could relate. Like a lot!!! More than I'd like to admit! 5 things your kids don't know about you.
And then I got to #5 and here came the tears!!!
5. I used to dream of you. Before I uttered my {first curse word} or took my {first drink}, before I knew anything else I’d ever want in my life, I knew I wanted you. The idea of you, of my own family, it was always the dream. In some strange, cosmic way, I was your mama before I was your mama. You were always meant to be mine, and I was always meant to be yours. Yes, you changed some things about me. But you gave me the most precious gift in return. You made my dream come true. And for that I'd give the rest up.
It's truly amazing to me the path life takes us on to get to where we are and to where we are going.  That "dream", that dream is what kept me going so many times when I was at my lowest.  The dream of my family!
I am so thankful to my savior!  That He knew my dream.  He placed it in my heart. and He continued to discipline me to reach that dream!

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