6.29.2015

{currently}

So I am linking up again with Becky over at ChooseHappy! For my Currently post! I just love summer time! I feel like we have so much going on – I’m exhausted, but oh the memories that are being made!!!
Currently, we are….
Creating… for Father’s Day, Harper and I did some super fun outside crafts for Rob for Father’s Day! I was really happy with how they turned out & better than that – Rob LOVED them and Harper is so proud of her creations!
I had an idea of what I wanted to help her make for her “handmade” gift for Rob. So we headed to Hobby Lobby.  I was planning on just getting a regular white canvas, but when I saw the burlap canvases… oh my! I just KNEW that is what we needed! Plus they were on sale! Double bonus! We just got some craft paint and paint pens… pulled a medium size paint brush from my craft stash and this is what we came up with! Harper did all the blue with the paint brush, all by herself! Then I helped her make the hand print sunshine, then of course did the writing.

I had also been looking for the perfect addition to one of our gallery walls – so when I saw the tiny 6×6 burlap canvas I snatched it up and incorporated a couple of my favorite pins on pinterest to make this with H…. again, a handprint sunshine! I’m currently quite obsessed with these burlap canvases!!! My next project with them will be for above our bed!!!

 Enjoying… We have been loving all the family time as of late! Grandma & Grandpa T are here visiting form CA! We’ve gotten to spend a lot of time enjoying their stay here! And of course the kiddos are enjoying all their cousin time together!

    Also … one of our best friends from CA was out here for work this past week and stayed with us!  His visit was sure good for our hearts! Just wish his wife and kiddo could have come too!
Smiling… A few weeks ago, I picked up some chucks for Harper in the next size up! Well, good thing – she’s wearing them! And what’s even better than her adorable red ones she had that she outgrew?! Matching black ones with mommy!!! Mine are so worn out they are about to fall apart – but still remain my favorite shoes! Harper is on the same path… she calls them her “hucks” haha.  And there’s just something about the size of these! ha! They just make me smile!!

 Crying… Harper had her first major fall yesterday! She took a head dive (literally) from our couch.  I’ve never heard her scream so loud! It was one of those learning moments for her – for sure!  She was reaching for the lamp that I tell her a zillion times a day to not play with.  I had just corrected and redirected her about 5 times and had lost my “will” to do it one more time… and boom! Now she points at the lamp and says “no-nooooo, fall dowwwn!” I think it was a good lesson learned.  but she has a good goose egg and scratched up face to show for it!
 Doing… I FINALLY got Harper’s reading wall finished this weekend! It only took me over 18months, ha! But that’s ok, I loved the way it turned out! I’ve had this stuff sitting around for SO long!

Swooning… Oh my hubby! He’s just the sweetest!! We’ve had a great last couple of weeks relationship wise! You know how sometimes your marriage is REALLY good.  Sometimes its challenging, sometimes its work, sometimes you want to punch each other in the head. haha! But the great thing – it’s all ok at the end of the day! But, all that to say – we are in one of those REALLY good seasons right now!  We’ve been steeling time away together… even if it is to play Jenga in the garage after H is in bed! And these two dozen roses!!! love just because surprises!!! & to top it all off… yesterday afternoon he set up a candle lit bath with lavender and rose petals, all complete with a glass of wine.  just for me.  then took H downstairs for some daddy/daughter time so she wasn’t pounding at the door haha.  it was heavenly!!! he loves me so well!

Planning… in the next couple of weeks we have birthdays to celebrate, our nations birthday, and a small family vaca away as a family as well as our first little get away ALONE!!! I’m quite excited (and nervous for the later part).
Life has been pretty trying lately – and a little heartbreaking – but God is also blessing us in abundance! It’s hard not to find the joy in the blessings He continues to give us – and ultimately the joy in my husband and little girl! I am so blessed to call them mine! ♥

6.28.2015

a l w a y s ....

there is always something to be thankful for. 
Even through all the heart ache of the last week & a half … 
I can honestly say my husband and I have fallen even more in love with one another. … I wouldn’t have thought that was possible. But here we are, silly – puppylove – in love with one another ❤️ 
So thankful ❤️

6.25.2015

{pregnancy #3}

i’ve tried to never shy away from sharing the good and the bad here in my blog.  because one day, i want to be able to look back and see God’s hand clearly in our lives – how He made everything work for good – how he continues to redeem!
i briefly referred to something in my last blog post – something we were experiencing in the shadows; meaning, it isn’t public knowledge (guess it will be now, huh!?).  it’s been hard.  but our dear-sweet, close friends and family have SO been here for us!!! we have felt so supported, loved, and prayed over the last week!
i haven’t made it a secret that we were going to start trying for baby #2 (actually 3) in June.  well. it came as a HUGE surprise that i was expecting before we even started trying.  we were shocked.  like super surprised and super excited! oh the love, expectations, planning, and just flat out hope that happens in those first few hours that follow a positive pregnancy test!
we were elated! i was leery, but we wanted our close friends and family to know.  because, if something ended up not going as planned we would need them.  i was constantly struggling with fear – fear of loss. fear of history repeating itself (our miscarriage before Harper).
early in the morning last week, i woke up to bleeding that was NOT normal! i immediately knew.  i called for Rob and he, trying to be helpful said, maybe everything is still ok.  i looked at him and said, this is NOT ok.  i knew. i was loosing the baby.  i called my dr, and they confirmed my suspicions.  talking with them brought me comfort.  it was early enough (a lot earlier than our first pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage) that they didn’t need to see me.  that alone was a HUGE relief.  you see with our first pregnancy, i had to go through many blood tests, actually seeing the baby on an ultra sound without a heart beat, and the repeat of all of that after the miscarriage was over.  the process as a whole was AWFUL! AWFUL!! this time around it has been hard, but not as hard as the first.  i’ve been sad, but hopeful.  after all, not even three weeks after our first miscarriage we conceived our sweet Harper.  & as my sweet husband reminded me – just think, now we have 2 babies waiting on us in heaven.  absolutely breaks my heart, but it also brings me such peace and hope.
most people aren’t too public with miscarriage experiences.  i get that.  it’s hard.  it took a lot for me to sit down and write this… i haven’t verbally told many people.  because let’s face it – i’m tired of crying.  but i never, for one second, want that precious baby’s short little life to go unnoticed, to act like it didn’t happen.  i want to make sure, although short, his/her existence matters – because it sure mattered to us!
right now, honestly, i’m battling with that whole, “God has a plan that is better than ours…” fact.  i DO know it as a fact.  i know He is in control. i know He is ultimately good! at the end of the day, even when life doesn’t feel good – HE IS GOOD! but….  i find myself frustrated – it is my flesh.  after all, if i pray about something – that is what has to happen right?! isn’t that the way it works?! WRONG CARRIE!!!  but, none the less, i find myself frustrated.  i had been praying for months leading up to June – that we would get pregnant in HIS timing.  that i SO didn’t want to experience another loss.  so i didn’t want to rush things.  this was all about God’s timing.  so when i got pregnant not even trying – i just KNEW this was God.  this had to be His timing! and i kept clinging to that through my doubt and fear.  then the pregnancy ended and i was left confused, disappointed, and hurt. wasn’t this HIS timing? wasn’t this HIS plan?! it sure wasn’t ours! so why did this happen?? i want to be honest with my feelings, because i feel all too often we try to hide our human life feelings and act like we are ok and focusing on God’s plan! which i am – but i’m upset too! and i think that’s ok. i really do! really – most of my frustration (i know logically) boils down to this – God is not me – he is not human – he is God.  my logic does not apply to Him. He is sovereign. He is good. and at the end of the day, that is all that matters and i need to focus on that – not trying to figure Him out.
i had such a moment of clarity this morning.  i was talking with God and being quite honest – saying, God – i was so excited to share this story with friends – how you have redeemed us – how you placed a child in my womb without us even trying, after the difficult road we’ve been down. what a story full of faith and hope.  i wanted to magnify YOU in this.  so why was it taken away?! i gently heard his response – “why do you think this story is finished? you know i make all good in time.  i finish what i start.  this story is not finished.”
so here we are – once again – striving to live out only His story – not ours, trusting in His plan for our family! and truly, also, at the end of the day – our family is perfect. just as it is. our Harper is more than enough ♥ we will feel so blessed if we are able to have another baby, but if not – God is good! and i know my amazing God ALWAYS completes what he begins!
and our sweet, adorable four year old nephew on Friday told me he was praying for God to put another baby in my tummy – SOON! with prayers like that – i’m sure we will be expecting our next little one in no time!
so all this to say, i’m inviting you to walk along side us in prayer.  please be praying for our family. for our future. and for wisdom for us as parents.  i’d like to say that pregnancy #4 doesn’t terrify me.  but let’s be honest – how could it not?! but i know God will walk with us through that fear – he’s already there.
♥xoxo

6.23.2015

{let's stop apologizing...}

trends in social media intrigue me! one minute everyone is publishing their highlight reel, showing their good side only.  the next we find our selves apologizing for the amazing lives we’ve been blessed with!
i challenge you.  stop apologizing for your blessings!
sure. aren’t we all glad that there are “crop” features on instagram… and ultimately a “crop” feature in our lives.  we don’t have to show the world that right before that adorable family selfie was taken, you and your husband were being super snarky.  we don’t have to show the world that the reason you are having a fun filled day out side with your kiddos is because the house is a disaster and you just can’t find the motivation to clean it.
and that’s ok.  because what we do see in those pictures or in the blog posts is also real.  so, i say – stop apologizing for your blessings!  let’s be proud of our beautiful children/families! let’s be proud of that smile your husband puts on your face!… even if 5 minutes prior you wanted to rip his head off… can i get an Amen?! ha! that’s the beauty of marriage, isn’t it?! we drive one another insane sometimes, but who could ever love one another more?!
let’s be authentic, but let’s be authentic in our walk with Christ… instead of striving to wear our “authenticity” on our sleeve – let’s wear our relationship and walk with Christ on our sleeves!  we can be REAL – but let’s not apologize for it!
can’t we find a happy medium between only sharing the rose colored memories and apologizing for being so blessed? let’s share the good! let’s share the challenging! let’s share the down right impossible without God times… because after all – you never know when your happy is going to brighten someone’s day or when you are actually walking along side someone on the very same bumpy road and how nice it would be for both of you if you knew you could be walking hand in hand!  it’s hard. trust me i know. i’m still attempting to find the courage to share something that we’ve been dealing with in the shadows… I thank God for our dear friends who have stood with their candles with us in the dark.  so, i’m sure you will see a very real post from me soon! i’m just not quite there yet….
anyway,
along with this, let’s remember – when we do see those wonderful moments, don’t let it diminish your own wonderful moments!  i also challenge you to not let others blessings cause you to lose sight of your own… they might look different, but none the less – you are blessed my friend!
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” -Marcus Aurelius

6.18.2015

{words from the husband}

saw the cutest thing on one of my friends blogs the other day!! See it here! She asked her hubby some questions about herself! So I’m totally copying her!! 
Now granted, 90% of the answers he gave I responded with: “Robert! I can’t blog that!!!!” Haha. My hubby has his mind in the gutter a lot ;) but I love it – he loves me well!! So here are his somewhat-first-responses ❤️ & some of them left me saying “aww!!”  Love this man! 
1. What is something your wife always says to you? 
I love you 
2. What makes her happy? 
Me & Harper 
3. What makes her sad? 
Dogs dying in movies. 
4. How does she make you laugh? 
Being a weirdo. 
5. What was she like as a child? 
Sweet & adventurous 
6. How old is she? 
33
7. How tall is she? 
5’2 1/2 
8. What is her favorite thing to do? 
Cuddle and watch TV
9. What does she do when you’re not around? 
Take care of Harper. 
10. If she becomes famous, what will it be for? 
Writing a book. 
11. What is she really good at? 
Sports
12. What is she not very good at?
Directions
13. What does she do for a job? 
Mom & sales 
14. What is her favorite food? 
Italian 
15. What makes you proud of her? 
How she balances working & being an amazing mom! 
16. What do you and her do together? 
go on dates 
17. How are you and her the same? 
We both think we are always right  
18. How are you and her different? 
I am more social and outgoing. 
19. How do you know she loves you? 
Even though I annoy her I’m still her favorite person. 
20. What does she like most about you?
My humor. 
21. What is her favorite place to go? 
Starbucks.

6.14.2015

{words & baby signing}

Harper’s verbal development has been right on schedule or beyond. She talks up a storm and learns new words daily. We look at her numerous times a day and think, man! She’s so stinkin’ smart!!! 
Enter early childhood major lol!! 
But that being said, it still brings her a lot of frustration! We hadn’t really needed to start baby signing with her since she started talking so early – but we still incorporated them. I was hesitant. Her verbal development is there … So I didn’t want to stunt that in any way. But, we were finding even though her verbal skills were/are there, cognitively she just wasn’t ready for what that meant. 
For example, you know those labeled “terrible two fits” everyone loves? Whelp. Those are mostly because the child knows what they want to say but can’t quite relay that to an adult. Imagine how frustrating that is!!! We started seeing a bit of this with Harper.  She would demand something, let’s say a toy. We would encourage her to say please – letting her know that they way she was asking is not ok. She would then become frustrated – even though on her own would use please and thank you quite often! So…. Baby signing took the stage! It has helped so much. Really the only signs she uses are please, all done, more, and food. (Pretty poignant to where her frustration lies haha). 
Last night I started encouraging her in the other direction now. I don’t want her to get too dependent on the signing. She was signing please for something and I asked her to use her words to ask me, because after all, the words were there before the signing! Sure enough, she understood and whipped out ” peaaaasss!!!”  – so needless to say, I think we are swinging the other way with please. I’m fully prepared to incorporate more signs however as she grows. Toddler development frustrations are seriously mostly centered around communication. I’m hoping we can make her 1 1/2-2’s not so terrible after all!! 
There are a ton of baby signing resources out there! My first suggestions – Pinterest & the library!

6.07.2015

{#ETHANProject} week 1, enjoy friendship}


 I am so excited to take part in the #ETHANProject!! 
The purpose of the #ETHANproject (ENJOY the HERE and NOW Project) is to inspire your creativity, motivate you to be a better mom and support you through the summer months.
Challenge 1: Enjoy Friendship 
I am embarrassed to say, I’m pretty much the worst at making new friends. The worst. I blame sports growing up.. I honestly never had to put much effort in to making it maintaining friendships. My friends were those I played sports with, we were together all the time, and had a lot in common. It was easy. I’m also a homebody and introvert at heart – meaning, surface relationships are like nails on a chalkboard to me. I prefer deep, meaningful friendships- people to actually live life with. Plus – my hubby is my very best friend!!! Which means most nights I’d prefer to just stay in and hang out with him and my baby girl!!! 
So, all that to say- what a blessing it was, a year ago, when we were invited to join a dinner group through our church. Our close friends, James & Autumn, were already a part of this group and invited us to join. I could go on and on about how amazing our little group of ten is… But I’ll leave it at this. When we joined the group, there were us adults and Kate (she seriously one of the cutest littles ever!!!). Since then, we have all walked together through our miscarriage doubt, the pregnancy & birth of Harper, as well as the pregnancy and birth of Finley, Brooke, & Avonlea. And now the relocation of one of our couples.  We do life together. Plain and simple. I treasure these people so much. We’ve cried. We’ve laughed. We’ve prayed. We’ve dug into God’s word together. They are God’s definition of community. They are family. & we are so blessed. 
So enjoy friendship my friends!!! You never know what blessings God has for you! 
this picture. this sums it up. & to think. when i 1st met Kate’s mama, Kate wasn’t even born yet & we were still living in CA. love my sweet friend, Kelly, & the friendship our girls are building.
*find out more about the #ETHANProject:  Here!

6.02.2015

{currently…}

so i’m switching it up a bit and changing my monthly updates to “curently” posts and linking up with Becky over at ChooseHappy!
Choose-Happy
Currently, we are….
 Planting… my father-in-law started our front yard renovations yesterday!!! yay!!! I came home to a mowed lawn, and the beginnings of the cutest flower bed!! Ilove.love.LOVE plants and gardening… I just happen to have about the blackestthumb possible, ha!  I also started our own little herb garden about a month ago… I got the cutest little window box at Ross (love that store) and seeds for parsley, basil,
and thyme.  I’ve about given up on the seedlings though… I’m probably going to transplant them, and get ready to go herbs for my window box… plus my preferred herbs would more likely be basil, rosemary, and thyme… parsley is ok, but really those are my go to’s!
Adding… we added to our family this past week, with the addition of Harper’s first VERY OWN pet.  The cutest little beta fish, which she lovingly named skittles.  She loves feeding and checking on skittles many times a day! She loves her “fisss” ♥
Making… I made the CUTEST little chalkboard for above my coffee station this weekend!! I was so excited. I had been wanting to do it forever, and had the stuff for it forever.  I finally took the whole 5 minutes to put it all together.  DIY tip… go get chalkboard place mats at Hobby Lobby and find frames you like … cut place mat to fit frame and remove glass.  bam! cute chalkboard for cheap! 
 Buying…. did I mention I’m obsessed with plants right now?! haha.  My new favorites are our windowsill lavender & the hibiscus on our table (thank you TJ’s!!)!
   Thankful…we just finished our May family vacation to Arkansas and Missouri to visit my side of the family.  My niece, Amber and her new husband Chris, were married on the 23rd.  So we took the opportunity to stay with my sister for a few days and then with my parents for a few days.  We were gone a little over a week… and off work for almost two weeks.  It was magnificent ;) The wedding was gorgeous and the family time was good for the soul.  Couldn’t ask for more!!!