the last blog glimpse at our journey.

i do believe this completes the blog entries on our journey as a couple... to get to where we are today.  i'm really not one to live in the past, but i also believe sharing your journey is important.  it can be a tool to others and it can also remind you of how much you have to be thankful for! of course there is a lot more to many aspects to our journey... but those don't need to be hashed over.  they include others that, honestly, i don't consider a part of our journey.  WE are our journey.  the decisions and choices WE made are our journey. i could go on and on about others and how they effected us ... but really, what is the point.  i don't feel the need to disrespect others to prove points or tell our truth. there's no need. forgiveness is a powerful thing... once you have true forgiveness all of that junk no longer matters ♥ view other posts on our journey... here

"There are moments in our lives that define all the others...they divide our time on earth into that which came before and after."

Awhile back, I briefly mentioned a crossroad in my life. One that I often look back and thank God I chose what I did... The crossroad where Rob asked me to choose. The choice was between the life I was living & the life I knew deep down was my intended path. This night was not an easy one... It is really the night, I feel, had to happen to get me to where I an now. Really, I don't think we either one realized the magnitude of what he was asking of me...but looking back, it changed my life...when I couldn't be my own hero, he stepped in. I see now that he was asking me to be the person he knew I was... the person he loved and wanted to be with and always saw himself with.  And for that, I will always be thankful. That even in our messiest of times, he stepped up and was a true man of God, a man of integrity...guiding me to be who God wanted me to be. & that right there, friends, is a golden example of a Godly Man! 

You may think you know our beginning... but really, no one has a clue. To say we were both a bit of a mess before this point would be an understatement! You see. A few months before we got together we were with other people. Not just people... He had been hanging out with/dating one of my best friends, almost since he got back into town. I had set them up... I know what was I thinking?! And I... I was also "dating" one of his good friends. I know I've often times mentioned how Rob and I were friends for so long before we got together...that friendship was beyond tested... the 7-8 months before we got together were rocky to say the least. 

The "relationship" (I use quotes because we weren't exclusive... not at all!) I was in was toxic & because of that I was spending almost every night out with friends, weekends in Vegas, brushing elbows with celebrities (yeah, I thought I was pretty untouchable!). I got caught up in it all. I then began *briefly* dating another guy (yep. Same time. Same bat channel) who led me deeper into the scene I was once chasing (let's just say I have stories to tell my kids someday if I ever want...I doubt I ever will). This led into spring of 2008. We all went away for spring training. And my world changed. Remember this?! here. ...When I said I started thinking of Rob differently?! 

My initial response. How was this ever going to work?! He was dating my friend. I was dating his. We eventually called it off with each of them, but I tried keeping a toe in my past (did I mention I was a mess?!). I was so against love and numb to what real love was, I didn't really care! Rob invited me to church with his family... I would go out with friends. He'd invite me to bible study...I'd find an excuse. He basically scared the crap out of me! I knew he was what I wanted... but there was side of me that flat out wanted to run scared!

"Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere, I would've followed you. Say something, I'm giving up on you. And I will swallow my pride. You're the one that I love"

This went on for a bit until THE TALK happened. I'm not sure what he saw in me at this point. I was a mess. But I'm so thankful he laid it all out for me... Basically asking me if I was ready to walk away from years if friendship, and possibly a relationship with him, for good. Meaning it was him & me... Only...no late nights out with the girls, my partying days needed to be over. All I remember is crying. And what seemed like an eternity of silence. Then he got up an walked out of my house. He was done & I hadn't given him an answer. I immediately panicked. I knew I had messed up by hesitating. But here he came right back. Gave me the biggest hug and asked again for my answer. This time there was no hesitation. I chose him!!! 

The next few months we hung out a lot, went to church together and basically just built the foundation of our soon to be relationship. I can't say either one of us were perfect within the months before we became an official, committed... boyfriend-girlfriend, but we both learned a lot of hard lessons that only made US stronger. I'm so thankful God gave us each patience to not give up in one another! Lord knows most people would have. God always seemed to have our timing down just right... when I'd do something stupid, Rob was committed and had all the faith in me.  When he'd do something stupid, I wasn't about ready to give up on him... after all, he had always had ultimate faith in me & in Us!  We've always been honest with one another, about the good and the bad.  I truly believe that is what has made us so strong over the years.  

So yes, this... this was the crossroad where everything changed!...where we began changing for one another, with God's help.  ♥  

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