the last blog glimpse at our journey.

i do believe this completes the blog entries on our journey as a couple... to get to where we are today.  i'm really not one to live in the past, but i also believe sharing your journey is important.  it can be a tool to others and it can also remind you of how much you have to be thankful for! of course there is a lot more to many aspects to our journey... but those don't need to be hashed over.  they include others that, honestly, i don't consider a part of our journey.  WE are our journey.  the decisions and choices WE made are our journey. i could go on and on about others and how they effected us ... but really, what is the point.  i don't feel the need to disrespect others to prove points or tell our truth. there's no need. forgiveness is a powerful thing... once you have true forgiveness all of that junk no longer matters ♥ view other posts on our journey... here

"There are moments in our lives that define all the others...they divide our time on earth into that which came before and after."

Awhile back, I briefly mentioned a crossroad in my life. One that I often look back and thank God I chose what I did... The crossroad where Rob asked me to choose. The choice was between the life I was living & the life I knew deep down was my intended path. This night was not an easy one... It is really the night, I feel, had to happen to get me to where I an now. Really, I don't think we either one realized the magnitude of what he was asking of me...but looking back, it changed my life...when I couldn't be my own hero, he stepped in. I see now that he was asking me to be the person he knew I was... the person he loved and wanted to be with and always saw himself with.  And for that, I will always be thankful. That even in our messiest of times, he stepped up and was a true man of God, a man of integrity...guiding me to be who God wanted me to be. & that right there, friends, is a golden example of a Godly Man! 

You may think you know our beginning... but really, no one has a clue. To say we were both a bit of a mess before this point would be an understatement! You see. A few months before we got together we were with other people. Not just people... He had been hanging out with/dating one of my best friends, almost since he got back into town. I had set them up... I know what was I thinking?! And I... I was also "dating" one of his good friends. I know I've often times mentioned how Rob and I were friends for so long before we got together...that friendship was beyond tested... the 7-8 months before we got together were rocky to say the least. 

The "relationship" (I use quotes because we weren't exclusive... not at all!) I was in was toxic & because of that I was spending almost every night out with friends, weekends in Vegas, brushing elbows with celebrities (yeah, I thought I was pretty untouchable!). I got caught up in it all. I then began *briefly* dating another guy (yep. Same time. Same bat channel) who led me deeper into the scene I was once chasing (let's just say I have stories to tell my kids someday if I ever want...I doubt I ever will). This led into spring of 2008. We all went away for spring training. And my world changed. Remember this?! here. ...When I said I started thinking of Rob differently?! 

My initial response. How was this ever going to work?! He was dating my friend. I was dating his. We eventually called it off with each of them, but I tried keeping a toe in my past (did I mention I was a mess?!). I was so against love and numb to what real love was, I didn't really care! Rob invited me to church with his family... I would go out with friends. He'd invite me to bible study...I'd find an excuse. He basically scared the crap out of me! I knew he was what I wanted... but there was side of me that flat out wanted to run scared!

"Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere, I would've followed you. Say something, I'm giving up on you. And I will swallow my pride. You're the one that I love"

This went on for a bit until THE TALK happened. I'm not sure what he saw in me at this point. I was a mess. But I'm so thankful he laid it all out for me... Basically asking me if I was ready to walk away from years if friendship, and possibly a relationship with him, for good. Meaning it was him & me... Only...no late nights out with the girls, my partying days needed to be over. All I remember is crying. And what seemed like an eternity of silence. Then he got up an walked out of my house. He was done & I hadn't given him an answer. I immediately panicked. I knew I had messed up by hesitating. But here he came right back. Gave me the biggest hug and asked again for my answer. This time there was no hesitation. I chose him!!! 

The next few months we hung out a lot, went to church together and basically just built the foundation of our soon to be relationship. I can't say either one of us were perfect within the months before we became an official, committed... boyfriend-girlfriend, but we both learned a lot of hard lessons that only made US stronger. I'm so thankful God gave us each patience to not give up in one another! Lord knows most people would have. God always seemed to have our timing down just right... when I'd do something stupid, Rob was committed and had all the faith in me.  When he'd do something stupid, I wasn't about ready to give up on him... after all, he had always had ultimate faith in me & in Us!  We've always been honest with one another, about the good and the bad.  I truly believe that is what has made us so strong over the years.  

So yes, this... this was the crossroad where everything changed!...where we began changing for one another, with God's help.  ♥  


{thankful november, day 27}

wow. this month sure has flown by.  it seems like i just posted my first day of thankfulness!! and here we are... thanksgiving is tomorrow!

today, and always, i am thankful for our wonderfully amazing family!... near and far! i wish there was a way we could spend the holiday with everyone.  we really do have the best families there are! they continue to cover us in prayer and love.  they are truly amazing! ♥

*** right after i typed up this entry, i received a priceless present from my sister to me and all of my cousins.  scanned, hand written recipes from my Granny.  Granny passed away a few months ago, and really the holidays don't quite seem like the holidays without spending them at my Granny and Papaw's home.  this took me on a tearful trip down memory lane and also provided me with the secrets to some of her most amazing dishes! what a perfectly, timely Thanksgiving gift!!! absolutely priceless!!!!

me and my Granny ♥

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{thankful november, day 26}

today i am thankful for our deep, true, amazing friendships - near and far! we are blessed to have made life long relationships with friends who aren't so near, but are near in prayer and spirit! we are also so blessed to have made some amazing lifelong friendships here over the past year and a half! so many people in our lives here in CO that we treasure!! we feel so blessed to have a close group of friends we can share & live life with and have dinner with every other week... you know who you are and we love you dearly!

some of our dearest friends, the Cartons, have a wonderfully, powerful, amazingly honest blog that i truly think everyone should read and follow.  they, individually and as husband & wife, are so amazingly strong and passionately honest with their life.  please check out their blog and today, one of my favoritest of their blog entries... marriage is ♥ we love you guys and are so honored to call you friend!

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diy name art

I went back and forth for quite some time on what type of name art to make for Harper's room.  I knew I wanted something simple yet girly... and not spend an arm and a leg! I searched pinterest for ideas for months... way before we even announced her name! and basically ended up combining a few different tutorials in to one!

We waited until the letters went on sale at Hobby Lobby... 30% off of 6 letters is a fairly good savings! At the time, I grabbed some purple craft paint... but later changed my mind. I knew I wanted to wrap a board in some sort of fabric to give it a canvas look and then put the letters on that.  But finding the exact right size of board took a little bit of effort... I had put it on hold until my amazing husband found the perfect piece!.. AND it has meaning! We are in the process of doing some work in our laundry room area, adding a bathroom.  And my father in law had ripped out a closet that we had in that area.  Out of the scrap wood, Rob spotted the perfect piece!

I came home to it all laid out on our table....

If you know me or have read any of my blog entries... you know that I LOVE things with meaning and history! I love that she will have a piece of our first house together, her first home, to keep forever if she'd like.  

Now came the time to pick what colors we wanted. I had all but decided against purple letters... we had since decided on the wall colors, which were both purple (a darker and lighter of the same shade), so I wanted something that would go yet contrast as well. After trying out a few of the fabric scraps I used on her giraffe art, we decided on the purple with white polka-dots with white letters! What a great choice! It turned out SO cute!

I started by wrapping the fabric around the wood piece.... think book cover.  I used a heavy duty "all purpose" craft glue to adhere it to the back. I let that dry for a few days while her Daddy painted the letters white.  We then used the same all purpose glue to adhere the letters to the front.  This glue is amazing!!! Now all we need is to nail a couple of brackets to the back for hanging, and we should be good to go! So happy with how this turned out.  My plan is to hang this over her changing table and the giraffes over her crib! ♥

The total cost of this project was maybe $15 at the most! 

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{thankful november, day 25}

So thankful for these moments that fill the daily small moments of my life.  The moments where I just look at my husband and feel like the luckiest girl in the world! ♥ I am so blessed with a love that always feels new, yet comfortable.  A love that still consists of daily flirting and teasing like a couple of teenagers in love. A love that I have always dreamed of and hoped for. ♥

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{thankful november, days 22, 23, & 24} & late friday letters ♥

day 22

fridays. so much to be thankful for! but especially, on this cold, snowy friday i am thankful for our amazingly cozy-warm home.  i love coming home to my hunka-hubby, our fireplace, and yummy soup cooking.
what a perfect evening in together! i also came home to a completely finished (painted) baby's room! rob and his dad had got the majority of the work done the beginning of the week, but they finished the trim on friday. absolutely LOVVVE it!
taking a break in thankfulness for a much over due, "friday letters"....
Sweet Harper,
my, my how you are growing!! mommy wonders often if there is going to be enough room for you to continue to grow the next 2 months! ♥ this week you have LOVED poking your little...not sure what, maybe feet, bum, head, elbow??? out. just to the right of mommy's belly button. you do it so often that mommy almost feels like she has a bruise from the inside, but not to worry... i love every second that you say hello!
you have started making a habit of morning hiccups.  i can tell you aren't a fan of hiccups already.  you squirm and kick and repeat until they are gone. i often wish there was something i could do to make them stop for you :(  your kicks are getting stronger every day.  you actually kept me awake the other night with how hard you were kicking.  again, don't worry... mommy doesn't mind and starbucks thanks you ;)
it never ceases to make me giggle when i can feel you "push off" one side of me and then see you protrude out the other! what a character you are already! mommy's phone app told her to start counting your kicks, tumbles and rolls... hmmm. apparently they don't understand what a crazy monkey you are! in your most active times of the day, you would reach the recommended 10 movements in 10 seconds!...vs the hour! you continue to suggest that mommy eats spicy food.  your newest favorite... super spicy hummus! you still would prefer for me to eat del taco/taco bell/qdoba every day! and insist that i put ketchup or sriracha on everything! i actually had to debate which one to eat with my grilled cheese the other day! mommy is just thankful that you have decided on things i already love!
mommy and daddy love you so much baby girl!!! we cannot wait to hold you in our arms!
♥ mommy

day 23
saturday.. i can honestly say i loved every second of our day yesterday!
i'm so thankful for this amazing life and love that i've been so undeservingly blessed with!
we woke up bright and early yesterday morning (Harper is already getting us on a schedule... isn't it suppose to be the other way around???) and headed out for breakfast! we were hoping to treat Jack, my father in law, to breakfast for all his hard work he's put into Harper's room and our guest room... and well, just in general! but he had been up with the stomach flu all night :(  so it was just the two of us... so we decided to turn it into a morning date! breakfast and a movie!
i didn't even know the movie theaters opened so early?! but our thoughts were... maybe if we go early, hunger games won't be as crowded! AND we were right! such a great movie by the way!
we then headed home and started working on actually putting things in Harper's room.  our whole house has been a DISASTER for the past few weeks... with the swaping of rooms and moving everything out of her room to paint. it basically looked like we were a babies r us storage facility! needless to say, it's nice to have our living room back ;) i can't wait to post pictures of the final, everything on the walls and in place, nursery! i've got to say, it's looking pretty amazing! 
anyway, so then we spent the rest of the day relaxing (i took a nap, ha!), and hanging out together.  we made a yummy dinner together and rented a redbox.  it was one of those perfectly amazing days ♥ 

day 24
today i am thankful for our Grandma Nina! since today is her birthday, it's only fitting to write about how amazing this lady is! she is so special to rob and i! i pretty much made it through the year of 2009-10 due to this lady! she was one of the best, if not the best, roommates anyone could ask for! in part, i think it is because we are a lot alike personality wise.  some days we'd want to hang out, drink a glass of wine and talk... others we wanted our space. and that was ok. i have always felt that because of that year living with her, i grew even closer and learned even more about rob and his family! i hadn't got to know his grandpa len extremely well, so i cherished our saturday morning breakfasts together, where the conversation would inevitably turn to stories of her and grandpa len. i never tired of hearing stories of their past ♥ she is quite an a amazing and special lady! 
today, i am also thankful for our health!
it seems like everyone in our family here has had the stomach flu. i am SO thankful that we haven't caught it (knock on wood)! i've already had it once during this pregnancy and it was awful!
let me just say... being sick stinks, but when you're pregnant it is a million times worse!!! 
hoping and praying to stay 100% healthy until baby Harper is here! ♥

& here are some photos of our day yesterday....

breakfast with this guy is the best!

the downside of getting a great deal on a crib... little to no directions. good thing my hunka-husband is so amazing ♥

love him!

lilly wasn't so sure what was going on... i kept joking that she thought it was her new kennel, HA!

Harper and I had a job... to hold the frame up while her Daddy put the screws in. She handled this
mission with ease ;)

finished product! 

such a mess right now... but it will get there ♥ ... that box is filled with board books! so excited to read them to her!

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ghosts & thankfulness....

as i woke up to a winter wonderland this morning, i couldn't help but feel like a giddy school child... waking up to the first snow of the year.  that was quickly squashed as i headed out on the roads to work.  drivers in general annoy me. but the stupidity of people driving in weather conditions never ceases to leave me shaking my head, or as my dear friend Ashly would do... the SLOW CLAP! ha! anyway... i knew the roads must be bad when i got a goodmorning/be careful text from rob.  you see, he isn't a worrier.  it can be raining, or a little windy and i tell him to use extra caution...because i, i am the worrier as much as i try not to be. so, when i got a loving cautionary text from him i took notice.  and boy was he right! icy, icy, icy!!! people were sliding everywhere! our car is a trooper and got me safely to work without one slip... SO thankful!!! Rob also got to and form work safely early this morning.  i hope i never take God's provision and protection for granted.  so very, very thankful!!!!

so as i was reading and catching up on a few blogs i follow, one referred to ghosts in our relationships/lives.  i took notice. mostly, because this is something i use to struggle with - letting either my past or rob's past affect our present or future. about 4 years ago i said no more.  no longer did i care about people that were in our pasts. they were in our pasts for a reason. i chose trust. to trust myself and rob. and move forward in my thinking, not backward. i'm sure we've all been there... whether it was my ex's or people who *thought* they were rob's ex (lol) or just people who were once friends who we had gone down different paths. it's so easy to let those ghosts haunt you or at least impact your thinking.  i'm so thankful that God helped me rid myself mentally of a few! it didn't happen over night, but i can honestly say that 5+ years later, there are people that i use to worry about or people that bugged me by the immature stunts they would pull.  but those are all things that are in the past. that my amazing husband taught me to laugh at or just let go. i remember the days when he use to totally call me out on it, saying it was silly to let someone who didn't matter affect me so much. he always has a way of putting things into perspective. we finally got to where we would joke, kid, and create inside jokes about some of the crazier "ghosts"... and really, truly, that helped in my letting them go. my advice... start small. avoid subjects or places that you might run into them, or heaven forbid... de-friend, set privacy settings high, and block people on social networks if necessary! it's your present and future we are talking about. is it really necessary to know what that person you shouldn't care less about is doing?! ... it's only keeping them in your present.  i truly encourage you, that if you once like me, have had a hard time letting go of those ghosts... just do it.

so today, i am thankful for our beautiful weather, our safety, and for leaving the past in the past!

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{thankful november, day 20}

today, i am thankful for Christmas music. i know, i know... It's not even thanksgiving yet. but, i don't really care. Ha! & surprisingly enough... If I had to pick, thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. So, really, I'm not one of those people who skip over it to get to Christmas! I just enjoy celebrating both :)
I learned a long time ago that the Christmas season comes and goes so quickly!! So I start cherishing it November 1st! 
So this morning I was overflowing with Christmas cheer as I was listening to Christmas music and sipping on my Carmel brûlée... In a Christmas cup of course! It truly is the most magical time of the year! 


{thankful november, days 16, 17, 18, & 19}

goodness. am i behind or what?! this is so what happened last year and i really wanted to be better at taking time out each day to blog about my thankfulness... what can i say?! life happens!!

day 16
saturdays... what's not to be thankful for on a saturday?! 
i got to sleep in with my hunka-hubs (which was doubly nice since i haven't been sleeping the greatest!), then headed off for my first maternity massage!
it was marvelous!!! 
thankful for the wonderful lady, who was my massage therapist... and 
her ability to make this modest pregnant lady comfortable! 
& so thankful that my in-laws shared their favorite
massage place with me... AND a half off coupon! 
it was just what this tired body needed.
& i managed to stay in sweatpants all day. just relaxing.
again. marvelous!

day 17
oh, sundays! 
i "woke" up early.
not sure how much i actually slept...
was able to do some housework and
get the rest of Harper's clothes washed and organized.
i was able to relax and catch up on some dvr'd shows!
sunday also marked our 28 week mark! 
so exciting! 
so very thankful for a strong and healthy Harper! 
i really need to take some updated belly bump pictures...
but in all honesty, i didn't get out of my sweatpants all weekend hahaha...

day 18
it was pretty typical for a monday.
i was tired (exhausted actually) and crankyyyy!
but, we got to wrap up the day with family and extended family.
a yummy meal shared with family is always wonderful!
so thankful for Matt&Leah, and their kiddos!
they bring a lot of joy to our lives!

day 19
ugh. today started funkier than monday.
starbucks line was way too long and slowww.
i gave up.
stopped at the gas station right by my work for my 
back up coffee... they were out of my favorite kind.
one of our guys called in sick.
need i go on?! it's definitely one of those days.
BUT... training has begun for
my maternity leave.
there are a couple girls that i have trained to back me up for days i'm out.
but, training them for me to be gone for weeks on end...
a little different story. 
there won't be any, "oh we'll just save this for when she gets back..."
they are going to need to do my job completely!
so last week they started flying solo.
today, is the first full day for one of them to do my job, all by themselves.
of course, i'm only an office away if they have any questions... but that leaves me
with a light work load and a relaxing day. all to be repeated on thursday! so needless to say... 
it was much needed today.
i am thankful for my job & how amazing and supportive they are being about our 
pregnancy and my upcoming maternity leave.
i'm also thankful for a couple of great gals who will be filling in for me. 
they are gonna kick butt! i don't feel anxious at all leaving it all in their hands! 

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let's get real mondays, vol. 2

most days i live in pregnancy wonderland... where i'm thankful for all my well wishers and feel adored by support and love from our friends and family.  but. today. today, i'm tired. i'm exhausted. and so here we go for another let's get real blog.... i know, i know, i haven't posted my thankfulness in awhile. i'll leave that catch up for another day...

a real truth... people are really annoying when you're pregnant.

it's true. if you've been pregnant, i'm sure you can agree. it's as if people just blurt out
the worst possible things on a regular basis. or i just get tired of hearing the same
thing over and over.

a few of my favorites:

• oh, you're due in february... maybe you'll have a valentines baby.
                 -ok, why would i want my baby to be born on a holiday
                 - & really, you are wishing me to be 2 weeks late?! mean, mean person!!!

• any comments on my size. most people remark how tiny i am, but how crazy my bump is.
                 - really?! i hadn't noticed... it's not uncomfortable at all. (sarcasm!) i'm a petite 5'2 female who all of a sudden has a watermelon attached to her body. yes, you're right... i am small and yes i do have a baby belly. how crazy...

• the pressure to pick a name. in all honesty... we had it picked out for awhile. but we were keeping it
between the two of us for a bit. we shared it eventually...
                 - i'm stubborn enough that it almost made me want to be one of those people who keep it a secret until after the baby is born...

• the all too common phrase of, "oh just wait until the baby is born..."
                 - i am not dumb. i've been taking care of kids most of my life. i know they take a lot... a  lot of everything! but really, when i haven't slept for 4 nights due to lovely pregnancy insomnia, the last thing i want to hear is that it is preparing me for the future... hormones mixed with no sleep carrie... well, let's just say these lovely well wishers should be happy that they don't get their eyes gouged out! & as a friend of mine who JUST had a baby told me, at least now she CAN sleep when the baby sleeps, vs. being so uncomfortable and not being able to sleep.
                - let's do the math... no sleep + pregnancy exhaustion from oh... making a human does not equal waking up every few hours to feed a crying baby.... at least you GET sleep!

• and to go with the previous statement... those parents who along with the "just waits" add their
own personal struggle... i.e. just wait til your kid refuses a bottle or just wait til your kid won't nap... etc.
              - again, i know parenthood comes with challenges. i don't expect it to be all unicorns and balloons... but why do people have to be so discouraging?!

i could honestly go on all day... but i won't.  enough of my rant. my cousin warned me of ALL of these. and it all is SO true. she's also warned me that some of it doesn't get better after the baby is born. all of the unnecessary advice... oh joy i can't wait! (again, sarcasm.)....

if you haven't already, check out this wonderful, comical, krast yet oh so applicable, blog... this is a post i'm identifying with right now... i'm totally at stage 4: http://www.scarymommy.com/category/Pregnancy-In-a-Nutshell/

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{thankful november, days 14 & 15}

day 14
i am thankful for the great doctor's appointment we had today! 
i'm still waiting on the results of the glucose test, but everything
else was great news!
our doctor said that i (as well as harper) looked great!
i'm measuring right on track and my weight is perfect (even though once again...
seeing those numbers go up, which i've NEVER seen on the scale before..yikes!).
and the glucose drink... not bad at all! tasted like 
fruit punch to me... yumm! the only not fun part was the almost passing out/anxiety
attack the sugar crash gave me in the car afterwards... so not fun! 
once again, it took the doctor a bit to find harper's heartbeat... as she is so
unbelievably active.  she just kept laughing and shaking her head.  finally,
after some poking and prodding, she settled down and let us listen.  i've all but given up
with our home doppler... plus, i've found her kicks and punches now give me the 
reassurance that the at home doppler once did.  
we return for another visit the beginning of december and then our two week visits 
start... wow. how time has flown.  even our doctor was saying she couldn't believe it's been seven
months!  over the next week or so, it is on my agenda for me to call our hospital and 
schedule our pre-registration and hospital visit.  the birthing class... eh, to me it's not a necessity. i've been through it with my sister and the end of it with my sis-in-law...
we'll see if we have time ♥ 

day 15
today. it's simple. i'm thankful it is friday! 
this week has flown by, thankfully! 
looking forward to sleeping in with my hunka-hunka-husband tomorrow! ♥

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{thankful november, day 13}

since today, in the hashtag world, is known as "#woofwednesday" i find it only fitting to blog about our thankfulness for our dog, Lilly ♥

she's a crazy monkey, she drives us insane the majority of the time... but she is truly the best dog.  she is loyal and such a kind soul.  she is the easiest going pup you'll ever meet... if we sleep in, she lets us, cuddled up right next to us... if we are gone ALL day... she's good. she goes with the flow.

she has shown us over the last couple of years how great she is with kids! she is going to be the best big sister to Harper! she is so patient and tolerates all of kids' antics ... if she get's annoyed, she just walks away.  such a good girl!

she loves to just "GO" with her mommy and daddy... even if its just a car ride to 7-11 real quick, but of course she prefers when we take her on hikes ;)

she is our lilly-bug and we love her dearly! 

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{thankful november, day 12}

today i am thankful for my mother-in-law and father-in-law.  you typically find a lot of ladies complaining about their in-laws and saying not too nice things about them... well, no complaints here! they've done nothing but bless our lives.  i'm thankful that they raised Rob in a Christ centered home, where he learned compassion, love, hard work, and basically just what it means to be in a long lasting, loving marriage!

they are always the first ones to offer their help to us, but also the first ones to let us "fly" on our own.  that is a hard balance... i hope we are able to provide that for our children one day.

as i type, my father in law is over at our home helping Rob empty out our extra (storage) bedroom, to paint and convert into our guest room... so that they can then start painting Harper's room.  and get this... i don't think we ever even ASKED him to... he just stepped in to help! which is huge, considering i'm not much help these days in the lifting or the painting department ;)

i feel so blessed to have a close relationship with them... they really are my "other" parents! ♥

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hello third trimester!!!

as we head into our third trimester, i can't help but be amazed at how fast the time is going! i remember week 5... right after we found out we were expecting our sweet Harper... it felt like an eternity to even make it to our second trimester. and now, here we are with less than 90 days left til our due date! i don't know about you, but that does not seem very long to me ;)

as i look back over our pregnancy... i've been so blessed and lucky to have a smooth pregnancy... no morning sickness, no stretch marks (so far)... nothing but some added extreme exhaustion and just the basic aches and pains of my body expanding and growing for our precious little girl ♥ overall i've felt great and i've loved every second of this pregnancy!

things are coming together! i've washed all of her nb & 0-3 month clothes and hung them up. we picked up her room colors from home depot yesterday. the plan is for her daddy and grandpa jack to get her room painted this week. i cannottttt wait to have that done and get her crib set up!! then all we will need is to get her changing table from her aunt leah and uncle matt and hang everything up! we finally got her some socks, LOL... crazy nesting, pregnancy hormones... i was so stressed out that she didn't have any socks yet. really?! my logical/rational side knows how ridiculous that sounds... but the momma-bear side of me was stressin' hahaha.  so yes, baby girl has socks and plenty of them ;)  honestly, we really do have everything we need for her first few weeks.  we need to grab a few more receiving blankets and maybe a few more burp cloths, but we are pretty set.  there's small (unnecessary) things that i'd like to have still of course ;) ... like book shelves, a formula dispenser for the diaper bag (again, really?!), diaper genie, more crib sheets/liners, changing pad covers, etc. really nothing too crazy or super necessary, which makes me feel a little more 'settled'. really all those extras are small dollar items as well... which also helps the stress level, HA!

Harper's likes:
• her Daddy's voice
• mommy's humming
• for mommy to eat spicy food... seriously, i've always liked spicy stuff, but lately its ridiculous!
• DEL TACO!.. i crave it about every minute of the day!

Harper's dislikes:
• lilly's bark; lilly rarely barks, but rob makes her bark occasionally and Harper HATES it! it feels like she literally jumps in my tummy!
• daddy's alarm at 4:30am! she's sooo not a fan!... often times i'll sleep through his alarm but not her annoyed jabs!

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{thankful november, day 11}

today i am thankful for my freedom, not only in Christ, but the daily freedoms i am allowed to experience on a daily basis because i am an American.

i feel so proud to have had/or have family members who have sacrificed and fought for those freedoms.  it helps me to not take the privilege of being an American for granted! i have uncles, cousins, & grandparents who have all sacrificed for us all... but what hits closer to home is my own father and my nephew, Alex.  truly, thank you never seems like enough. 

i remember visiting a replica known as the "traveling wall" with my parents as a very little girl.  even though i had no understanding of what it was, i knew by the tears in my parents eyes that it was something of profound importance. this art work always reduces me to tears....

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{thankful november, day 10}

"how lucky am i to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." -a.a. milne

i know i've mentioned that november is one of my favorite months... which is also rather ironic because it is a month that represents memories of loss for me (and for rob too for that matter...).  
so why or how can it still be one of my favorite months?... it's all about perspective.
i (& we) have been and remain fortunate to have so many treasured people in our lives.

it is a month that we each tragically lost our best friends... i was in high school when i lost Casey, rob's loss was almost 6 years ago. 
it is the month of rob's grandfather's birthday, who we said goodbye to 5 1/2 years ago.
this month is also when our first baby would've been due. 

my outlook. you can dwell on the sad and hold on to that or you can be thankful for what you had and hold on to the amazing memories.  we have chosen the later. 

so occasionally when i think of november, it is with a heavy heart... but always a thankful one. 

i'm thankful that i had a friend like Casey in high school. we met because our boyfriends at the time were best friends. those relationships didn't last long, like most high school relationships... but our friendship lasted. the split second i found out about her car accident, my life changed forever. i was never the same. 
there is a much longer, deeper, sad, yet amazing story surrounding our friendship and her amazing life...but i'll save that for another time. she's one of those people in my life. you know the ones that when someone asks you to name a few people who impacted or changed your life... she's definitely high on that list. 

i know Rob feels very similar about his friendship with Brian. i absolutely LOVE hearing stories of his memories of their time growing up together. i only had the privilege of meeting him and hanging out with him a few times, but even in those small glimpses of their friendship... they were brothers. 

there is just something that impacts you so deeply to have that close of a friendship and then they're gone. 

we all miss rob's Grandpa Len so often. even though i only knew him for a few years and really only real well for a few months, it sure would be nice to be able to sit down and play a game of pinochle with him and rob again or take another trip to valley view with him and Grandma Nina!  & i know there isn't a second that goes by that Grandma Nina doesn't miss him. 

only God knows how much our sweet little angel impacted our lives in the quick 9 weeks we spent hoping, dreaming and planning for his/her future. we have been so blessed to love two babies so deeply... one we fit a lifetime full of love into 9 weeks, which we can't help but be thankful for. that sweet little soul now lives... lives and walks the streets of heaven with our heavenly father. 

so basically today, i am thankful for the perspective of loss that i have been given; that even though there are voids in my heart... i'm thankful for the people who left them there. even though each of their times here were way too short, they were all special to us. so blessed to have had them in our lives! ♥

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{thankful november, day 9}

today i am reminded how fortunate we are to have family so near! we woke up to a text message from my brother in law, matt, saying "breakfast... coffee cup at 8:30". it was a great way to start our saturday... breakfast with the family, followed by a home decor sale, a lengthy stop at big R and then kathy and i headed to the fabric store to pick out fabric for more projects for Harper ♥

it's been a great saturday so far! we are so blessed and thankful for our family, near and far! we truly do have the best there is!

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{thankful november, day 8}

today, i am thankful for my salvation.
plain and simple, i'm thankful to serve a God who never
gives up on me and never stops building, growing, and working on me.
He has seen me through a lot in my years and has taught me a lot
about who i am and who i want to be. 

i'm thankful for His love and grace, of which i will never be worthy. 

it's something so simple yet so amazingly complex, that i strive to never take for granted.

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{thankful november, day7}

today. today is one of the deeper "thankful days".
i'm often struck with thankfulness when i look at my life, at my husband, and the amazing life and love we have been blessed with.  
i know i already wrote about being thankful for my marriage and for rob...
but today, i want to talk about my thankfulness of our journey.
a journey that isn't so pretty... 
our journey to one another was filled with lots of bumps... lots of rocks... lots of pot holes.
what can i say, i've always been a sucker for dirt roads ;) 

but in all seriousness, before rob and i got together i had a pretty negative out look on love and relationships. i had been burned... over and over. i was callused. i was scared. i was done with love. i had decided to not let anyone in, to stay in control of my heart, and to not fall in love again. to stay guarded. to keep that wall up & to protect myself.  

2008, those walls were falling
down ♥
well, here came rob and made a liar out of me... he came barreling through with his theoretical sledge hammer, knocking down those walls and showing me that i could trust again... and eventually love again.  you see he always had faith in us. i can remember a conversation about life between the two of us, before we even started dating... we were just friends.  we were talking about life and love. i threw out there that i wasn't sure i'd ever get married again... he threw in that he already knew who he was going to marry, he was just waiting for her to realize it. talk about awkward silence. i should've known then that i was in trouble ;) he had my heart and i didn't even know it!

it wasn't too many months later that he asked me to make a decision, as i was standing at the crossroads of the life i was living and the life i wanted, (I'll blog about that at another time...) - i chose rob and the life i knew i should be pursuing. and a few months later he officially asked me to be his girlfriend. i'll never forget when he asked me to be his girlfriend. i'm pretty sure i said no at first, HA! not because i didn't like him, but because i was scared and also i remember asking him if he really wanted the baggage i came with. his response... YES!

so again, today, i'm thankful for him. our journey. and his faith in us... and more importantly, his faith in me when i didn't have any! he has always been my biggest fan. ♥

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{thankful november, day 6}

today i'm thankful for the past 27 weeks!
for the past few months that i've gotten the amazing privilege to have
this little one growing inside of me. 

our first peek at Harper; 9weeks

20weeks, when we confirmed that she was a she ♥

these little feet bring me a lot of joy!!

i can't believe, in just a few days, i will be in my third trimester!
the time has flown by!!! 

when i think back to when we found out we were expecting our sweet Harper, i can't 
help but feel overcome with thankfulness! 
she was such a little surprise... our little miracle!
even though we didn't intentionally plan for her... we were definitely 
dreaming and praying for her! 
we were in such disbelief when we found out we were expecting!
what a blessing!!! 

i cannot wait to hold her in my arms ♥ 

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diy tissue paper puffs!

i mentioned earlier in the week that Sunday i squeezed in a quick craft for Harper's room! .... & here it is!

i've LOVED making everything for Harper's room! it is fun to find things on pinterest or shopping that i'd like for her room that cost an arm and a leg... and then make them for pennies!! rob keeps saying i need to keep making it all and sell it online... i don't like it THAT much ;) ha!

the tissue puffs were EASY!!! i found a few colors i liked at hobby lobby for a whopping dollar a piece! i went with two different purples and one greyish-brown.  the hardest/most annoying part of this process is cutting the ends! they're pretty thick.

•i wanted to have different sizes, so i cut the paper accordingly.
•choose your thickness! the smaller ones i did approx 8 pieces; the larger ones 9-12 pieces
•basically, you just fold it like an accordion or fan.... about an 1 inch- 1.5inches wide.
• fasten in the middle with floral wire, (i also added a ribbon with a slip-knot for a loop to tie the ribbon we will hang them with to... i do suggest this, because once it's "puffed" even that loop is hard to find!).
•then you will want to choose the shape of the ends.  i did a few in a point to give them a dahlia look and some rounded.
•start fluffing! just pull the "stuck together" pieces of tissue apart.  do this gently... it tears easily, but thankfully these things are so puffy they are VERY forgiving of any small tears.
•do some final shaping and touch ups


needed supplies:

•tissue paper in desired colors
•floral wire or some type of wire
•wire cutters

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