Have you ever met a couple that says they never fight and always get along. Ha! Yeah, that's usually my inside response. Either that, or I'm thinking, gosh, you probablyyy don't want to be friends with us, haha. Let me back up and preface this with the fact that my husband and I are about an equal match in the passion department... no, I'm not referring to the hubba-hubba passion, got that covered too.... but I'm talking about when people use "passionate" instead of stubborn, hard headed, pig headed, hard to handle, strong willed, my way or the highway, use of passionate. We neither one, to our knowledge have a drop of Italian ancestry, but you wouldn't be able to tell it if you over heard one of our arguments. But behind that "passion" lies the other kind... the hubba-hubba kind. The kind of passion in that we love one another so deeply and so incredibly that it drives us a little insane sometimes ;)
To the rest of the world, we are quiet, easy going, laid back people. Let one of us tick the other one off, or heaven forbid hurt the other's feelings, and all bets are off. You'll hear screaming and crying, and then, minutes later we are done. The conflict has passed, we've screamed, yelled, and sorted it out. And I can guarantee you that we rarely address the same subject twice. We get it all out and it's done. To most this seems unhealthy, but for us, it works. We can look back, learn, laugh, and appreciate one another's "passionate" side. I cannot remember a time that we have gone to bed angry, or left something unsettled. We generally know where the other stands. There's no reading between the lines. Our relationship, even the bad, is filled with complete honesty. We tend to laugh at the fact that we both love one another so much, yet know just the right buttons to push. I also like to remember that we fight for what we love the most.
As Sheila mentions in her post, I believe many wives couple submission with having no opinion, or no voice. This couldn't be further from what God has intended in our marriages.
"If we decide that our role, as wives, is to state our position but then say absolutely nothing ever again so that God can convict our husbands, then are we seeking peace? Are we attempting to become of one mind? Are we united in thought and purpose?"You can look back to my post here, a few weeks ago, in reference to my view of the role we wives play, and God's call to us to submit to our husbands and to him.
Do I believe that God wants all marriages to be just like mine? No way! We are in no way perfect, but I can tell you that for this season of life, we have found what works for us. I encourage you to speak your mind in love. If your husband hurts your feelings, let him know. If you would've preferred something be handled differently, let him know. He isn't a mind reader, how will he ever know if you don't tell him? All of this should, of course, be done in love. I often times have to remind myself of this... to speak in love. Even when we are yelling, and having it out like a couple of Italians, we are careful to guard our words. This isn't for everyone. "Fighting" looks different to everyone. But again, we must fight for what we love the most, each other. It's also very important to remember, that at the end of the day we are on the same team. As husband and wife, its you against the world, no one else. It isn't you, husband, and your mom, or you, your husband, and your best friend. It's you and him, with a lot of help from our gracious loving God, who after all, modeled marriage as a reflection of His relationship with us. He understands. He wants our marriages to be open, honest, loving, and healthy. I totally understand that 'healthy' looks so different to everyone. So I encourage you to "fight" for your marriages, and find your comfortable healthy.
Now go love on your hubba-hubba, husband ♥ & join me tomorrow as we add to our never ending lists of why we love our husbands at the Happy Wives Club!